To ...patience..

Lately the last couple days, okay just yesterday and today, have been difficult for me. I decided that Im going to STOP letting it ruin my day though. Im over it! Im going to have a great day and an awesome weekend. Im so excited for whats to come.

"The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is." (from The Love Dare book)

Dan and I have decided to start the Love Dare together today. I am looking forward to how our relationship will change for the better but I do know it will be a challenge, especially for me. Todays dare is to be patience with your spouse. Dont say anything negative and if you cant say something positive, dont say anything at all. I think with everything thats going on right now, its especially hard for me.. Im going to do it though. I know how much it could wear on Dan and I want to stop doing that to him. I feel so blessed to have such a great husband. He is always there to support me but also there to call me out when I need that. I appreciate it. I learn a lot from him and his perspective. I love this verse and feel like its speaking directly to me.
"Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." (James 1:19) I think that goes hand in hand with patience too.

Last night when I was having a mini meltdown I started praying.. God revealed an image to me. ::::I was climbing out my bedroom window because my house was on fire... all I could do was get out and watch it burn in flames:::: I prayed about what this means and this morning I woke up with a clear vision of how God was speaking to me. I feel like some things you just cant change, people, circumstances, whatever it may be, all you can do is stand back and watch. But you can change yourself and your situations in your life. I know that the stuff that has been going on yesterday and today wasnt a result of me, it was someone else doing something to me. I was trying to fight it but I shouldnt. Thats who they are, I cant change them or what they are doing. I can change myself though and how I handle situations. Maybe through my changing it will affect them. Not that it matters but may be.
One thing that stuck out that this person told me was that they were a good person. They started telling me how they were a good person, that they have good friends, a good family, good wife. It really bothered me. You dont need to tell someone you are a good person or try to convince them either. If you are, people will see it. That was a lesson for me. How am I handling myself through this situation? I dont know if I was being the person that I want to be or come across. I want to change that about myself.

Lately I have gotten some awesome revealing dreams and pictures from God and I got one about Journey Wednesday night at small group. I texted her about it and told her I wanted to talk about it Tuesday when we meet. She said she had a dream the night before. Journey has amazing dreams from God pretty often. Shes always telling me about them. I bet that her dream and my image will go together, I cant wait to hear about hers. :)
Renee texted me this morning that she dreamt about me, she didnt remember the dream, just that I was in it. That made me happy that she was thinking about me, she probably didnt even know I was very upset last night and this morning. I miss her.