This day is dragging.. kind of a rough day for me. Since there are so many changes going on in me and Dans life in the next month or two, its kind of an adjustment period and it all hit me today. I do have faith that God will provide but Im not going to lie, its not easy. You have to literally put everything in Gods hands and trust that everything will be okay. It may not make sense logically but its what I have to do. Dan will be without a job on May 15th, we are going on vacation shortly after. He will start school in June and then he is done July 15th. I will be supporting both of us for about two months on my salary. We were hoping for big student loan for the summer, we found out today we are getting $1000. So after we pay tuition for summer school we will get about $340 from it. $340.00 isnt a lot of money but I have faith that God will provide and meet our needs for the time Dan doesnt have a job. And Im confident that he will have a job by July 15th. If you believe it, say it, pray it, speak it, you will have it.
I struggle with all of this, I think mostly because society influences me. I hear it on the news, read it online, in the newspapers, how its basically impossible to get a job in this country.. yet I have to believe Dan has a job already when he doesnt. I know its difficult to do but I have to. Its the only way.
I dont know why I struggle with this though, God has showed me MANY MANY times He will take care of me. One big example in my life...
Last March I got a job working for Southern Wine and Spirits (SWS) doing promotions in bars and grocery stores. I worked a couple promotions a month until about August, things started to pick up. Me, Journey, and Megan were working just about every promotions there was. I was working my regular job during the day then I would go home, eat dinner, get ready then go to SWS to do promotions at bars from 8-1. (also working every weekend) This was a regular thing for me.
Basically up until the time I quit I was easily working over 50 hours between my regular job and SWS. I had been praying a lot about it and asking God what I should do. I felt like I never saw Dan, I wasnt taking care of myself, and I was getting depressed from drinking all the time and being around people in bars.. not the best atmosphere.
God spoke to me.. He wanted me to quit my job, He would provide. This was a very hard thing for me to do but I knew I had to. I had to trust God would take care of us. I was making about $500 -$600 a month with SWS and every month me and Dan always had the right amount. So you would think that when I quit this, we would be $500 short if we didnt cut back our spending or make some sacrafices.
I should tell you how God spoke to me when I was praying about quitting. I was complaining about how me and Dan never saw each other and I wanted to go on a date with him. Shortly after I won 4 movies passes to go to the movies.. then like a couple days later I won a $50 gift certificate for a restaraunt of my choice. God was telling me, 'here's 3 dates for you and Dan, I told you I would take care of you. Trust me.' As soon as that happened, I quit. I worked about 5 more promotions and then I was done.
Dan and I didnt change anything, we had all the same bills, we spent the same amount of money, we even started to tithe to the church. This doesnt make sense? How can we be making less, spending the same amount, and still able to pay all of our bills? God provided. He pays the bills, Im a firm believer in that. Im living proof of it! lol
So basically I need to stop worrying, it does NO good, and have faith that everything will be alright.. because it will. It is. I am great.
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