To ..letting go

I really cant believe its raining again! Enough with the May showers! I miss the sunshine. :(

Journey texted me this morning asking me if I wanted to meet her for lunch today so we went to Jupiters 2 at the Crossing. YUM! I got a fish sandwich and she got a brisket panini with soup and then we shared fries with ranch. Thats our fave! I dont think we have ever ate a meal without fries and ranch dressing lol. Its what we do. Yum. It was nice to catch up with her, eat some comfort food, and take a break in the day.

Its been pretty slow at work today, well actually the phone hasnt stopped ringing but its just pointless calls. lol . Reps telling me random stuff about their day or whatever, Ive only placed one order today and billed 4 cases. Easy day.

Dans stopped by about 3 times to print out stuff for his scholarship application. I hope he gets it, that would be such a blessing! We've been talking about whether or not he should get a job for the short period of time he will be in the program. I dont want him to have to work but I also dont want to keep struggling like we are for another month or two. Im not worried, I know we will deal with it if he cant get a job, it just would be better if we had a little extra money.
Ive always been one to be the caretaker. I dont even think I know how to let people take care of me. I have always worked two or three jobs at once, always did all the chores, paid all the bills. Dans been stepping up lately taking care of the household duties. I really appreciate it. Unfortunately I find it hard to accept that. I feel like Im not doing my wifely duties or something. I dunno.. Im really grateful hes doing it but I feel guilty that Im not. Whats my problem!? Today Ive decided to let myself go there and accept it. I want to be taken care of. I can do that. I need to relax. I deserve it.

Im excited about the weekend. Only an hour left of work! Tonight will be an easy relaxing night at home. We will probably rent a movie or watch something on the dvr. I got a bottle of wine chillin in the fridge. That sounds really good right now. So does a bath! Dan makes the best baths. We took one on Tuesday night, it was great. It was cool outside and the bath was nice and hot. I cant wait until we eventually buy a house. We are definitely investing in a large bath tub.. our standard tiny bathtub just aint cutting it lol. Its a little squishy but we make do. haha.

Something came to my attention today that Im a little sad about. A old friend that Ive been friends for about 5 years isnt in my life anymore. It makes me sad how it all ended up.
She got in a fight with one of my best friends and that caused a riff in our friendship. When I saw her out after the incident we were cool or whatever. Last month though on facebook (I knooow lol) she put up a status that was filled with drama.. talking bad about my friend. I really didnt want to deal, it made me upset. We are grown mature women and really, this is going on? Unfortunately it was for no reason either. So instead of doing something about it or saying anything to her, I deleted her. Then the next day I felt bad about it (guilty conscious!) so I sent her an email apologizing and telling her I deleted her and why. I apologized for anything Ive ever done to her..etc. I never got a response back.. I wish I did though. At least saying that she got it or she hates me or she forgives me.. anything! Buuuut thats selfish of me.
Anyways, today I got on facebook and decided to add her back. I wanted to talk to her and have her back in my life as a friend. I couldnt find her anywhere. I told Journey all of this and she told me that she might have blocked me. I didnt believe that she would do something like this but I went on Dans facebook and sure enough she was there. That made me really sad. Its not like Im a stalker messaging her or bothering her. I deleted her and then 2 months later tried to add her and somewhere in that time she went out of her way to block me?! I guess thats her way of telling me we are done. I dont know what to do except just accept this. Ive done all that I can and if she doesnt accept it I cant force her to. Ive never had a relationship go sour or have any enemies so its not sitting well with me but I guess I just need to get over it.