To.. rainy days

This day is going by really slow. I have absolutely nothing to do!! No work at all. Boo.

Im so happy that I got to meet Melissa during lunch today, that definitely made my day better. :) I hadnt seen her in a month or two so it was good to reconnect. Journey is about to leave for vacation for a month and I tried to get her to come today but she couldnt make it. Ill miss her while shes gone.

Man I swear the world revolves around babies and pregnancy.. lol Not thats its a bad thing but if you want to wait a while before starting a family, it really seems impossible. Like everyday, my mind changes about when I want to start trying... I think it pretty much revolves around what I hear or see online or from my friends.. it could make a woman go crazy! lol I think its hard enough turning 25 and not having kids yet. I understand 25 is NOT OLD.. but ya know when its happening to you, I dunno it just makes you realize that wow.. Ive lived for 25 years.. I have been out of high school for 7 years.. WTF! That doesnt even seem possible.. haha. Yeah.. Im crazy. Not to mention I know a lot of people with two kids.. people that are younger than me. That makes me feel like 'wow what am i doing?' lol

But to be completely honest, I just loooove being with Dan so much so that I really dont want anything to come between us. I know a baby will not be a hinder to our relationship, well it can be if you let it I guess, but it will make a stronger and closer together. Its just the part where I cant just be with him or whatever, I gotta always worry about another human being 24/7. Not so easy, lol. I always want to come first to Dan and he will always come first to me, no matter what (Ive learned something!:). I appreciate all the knowledge Ive learned to get to this point in my life. I feel ready to have kids in one way but obviously really not ready in another way..because you are never really ready for a baby.. how can you be?!!

If I could be a nanny to two children (7 and 3) when I was in 7th grade for like a year or two (only on weekends and summer since i was in school), then obviously now that Ive grown and learned SOOO much more than from where I was, I will be perfectly fine. I still find it completely crazy that I was a nanny to two children when I was like still a child myself, like 12 lol. I was awesome. haha.

I talked to my mom for an hour today and hung out with Melissa and have been sitting in my office for like 5 hours thinking about crap and this is what I came up with lol I dont care if Im crazy.. actually I might just be a typical woman. Ill go with that. :)